Monday, November 18, 2013

Has the meaning of friendship changed?

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, how it's changed, and wondering if it's just different, better, worse, or if just depends on who/what/when & why?

I, being of the era of "Webster", checked there first, ugh, has THAT changed too!  IT used to be SO much more definitive and useful and, well, helpful! "Friendship" was pathetic, so I went for "friend", and I didn't think it was much better but... after several gleanings, this is what I was able to come away with:

- one attached to another by affection or esteem- to have a friendship or friendly relationship with
- a person who you like and enjoy being with

What I was hoping for was something that indicated more personal communication.  Actual face-to-face or phone-to-phone talking.  You know, the kind you actually hear and or see the person?  Remember that kind of communication?  Are those days really gone (forever)?  Dear God I hope not.  I have a Facebook love/hate relationship.  I love it because it connects me with people I've lost contact with over the years.  It lets me hear from and about people I know and care about on what's going on in their day-to-day life.  It let's me know about (some) world events and happenings I enjoy seeing and learning about.  I hate it because people have let it (me included, to often) be their voice, instead of picking up the phone, or taking the time to see, or even, oh my gosh, (hand) writing a letter or card!  Our personal contact is being lost, and being replaced by communal blurbs to a myriad of our "friends" on a "posting" - many times just by a public poster quote that we didn't even write!  We've separated ourselves so far from each other that we are going through a public quote, through a computer that's sent out through the "waves" to people that we can't see or hear, in hopes that they may see and may "post" or "like" or  type a response!  Wow!  Is that what we call friendship now?

This really hit me when we found out about a dear friend's death the night before his funeral.  Had we been called when he passed, Jack would have flown in to San Diego for the funeral.  Jack was very close to this lovely man and it hurt him deeply that he couldn't be there, and that he only found out about it through e mail hours before.  No call.  I was stunned.  I still am.  This is MY generation.  WE didn't used to be like this.  WE used to pick up the phone and call each other.  Now it's E mails.

I was sharing with a fellow traveler and blogger that many of my friends don't call or contact me like they used to and when I tease them about it, they say that they "mean to, but don't have anything new going on!"  They always comment (when I call) that they love hearing all about my travels and reading my blogs, etc...  My friend agreed and said she found the same thing happened to her.  It seems that they get all our news by reading our blogs, so don't have the "need" to call and see what we are up to, etc. so  don't call!  They don't think about our need to hear from them...

I love our travels and I love talking with all the various people around the US, but they are not my friendsMy friends are the people who have shared my life with me.  Who have been there with me, creating my stories with me, sharing my life with me, knowing me.

I want to hear your voice, your laughter.  I want to see your face when I can.  I want to feel your hugs and hold your hands and share your tears if you need.  Life, my friends is way, way to short not to, once more, without regrets.  Otherwise, you'll never know how much I truly love you...
So many fun times then, so many more to come!
Only a friend would help you go get the "new baby" and make sure you didn't kill yourself doing it!
What began with a small music gig, turned into a lifetime friendship
Some friends are worth hunting for and not giving up until you find them again!
Only your best friends would share a mud bath with you, and not kill you for showing this picture!

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